leaf 011 [text; action for Goldenrod; past midnight]

[bookmarking]

Seven and Lotus are gone.

[Ten minutes pass before she texts another message.]

If you could contact one person from your world right now, who would it be, and what would you tell them?

[Private to Santa]

I've got an extra Eevee. [The last one had been given to June.] Want him?

[People who are out at this hour or who decide to go looking for a pink-haired girl will find Clover strolling toward the radio tower, obviously wanting some real alone time. Her long pink hair is down, so no pigtails tonight. That jacket is buttoned all the way up to her ribbon, and she has thrown a coat over everything. While she's still in a skirt, her legs are in pale pink leggings. Gear in hand, she just walks idly on, a downcast expression on her face.

There is much on her mind...not only Seven and Lotus' disappearances, but also Snake, her older brother. It felt like an eternity since she had discovered that he was gone. Probably three months, more or less? And she was beginning to miss him again.

Actually, she always missed him. She had friends in Johto, sure, but...no one could ever replace her brother.]

Comments

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[She doesn't notice yet. Her back is turned and the breeze is lifting her loose hair, now that it is no longer restrained in pigtails.]

If she can win some gym battles, I think she can remember to keep herself warm.

[miniworth]

[He follows after her and will talk to her back.]

My sister back home is three years old.

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[Clover stops, and turns around. For a moment she's shocked, but eventually she relaxes and gives him a small smile.]

Good point. Still, I'm pretty sure she'll be okay. She's got her dad, doesn't she?

[miniworth]

[He's all bundled up--coat, a blue scarf and gloves he's had since last year, and pants--and approaching her with a nonchalant look. He's just trying to figure out the mood.]

She wouldn't go outside to play unless she was with me. Her father isn't very fond of playing in the snow.

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[Clover closes her eyes briefly, making that smile look just a touch sadder. She tucks a strand of her pink hair behind an ear, behind those earmuffs.]

...You're a good big brother, y'know that?

[miniworth]

[He's next to her now, smiling slightly.]

Thank you, Clover. [If only you kneeeeew. 8( ]

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

...you should probably go on ahead. You need to sleep.

[To be fair, Clover has run into other people, but...well, not only did Miles remind Clover painfully of Snake, she didn't want to force anything on him. With the others she had talked to, the topic of her brother either never came up, or only came up via text, which sort of helped her detach herself a bit.

Not that she could completely detach herself; she would always sigh sadly and try to keep from crying whenever Snake popped up in conversation. At least text messages meant nobody could see how she looked.]

[miniworth]

...You're going to freeze, Clover. [He doesn't plan to ask about her brother, or press her for any details. He is worried, though, that she's standing out here at night in this cold. (He is, too, but he's been through this before.)]

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

No, I won't. [She turns away slightly.] Don't worry about me. I just...wanted to take a walk.

[But the more she told herself she wanted to be alone, the more she realized that she wanted others with her.]

[miniworth]

... [He tugs on his scarf. It's a blue one that he received from Ken last Christmas. He thinks about how he's been friends with him for almost a year, now... sometimes it feels like they'd be friends forever. Other times, the thought that either of them would be taken away from Johto hovers over his head like a dark cloud.

He thinks, also, about the people he knew and had lost, over time--people from Johto and people from home. Where are they now? What are they doing? How are they feeling?]

Who would you talk to, Clover? [He doesn't move from his spot, staying a step away from her and not raising his voice so much.] If you could talk to anybody, who will you choose?

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[Clover doesn't move either, hands in her pockets. But she glances at him over her shoulder.]

...if you've known me for this long, you probably know the answer to that.

[miniworth]

What will you tell him?

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

I'll tell him...I'll tell him I miss him, and that I'm okay...that I want to see him again...

[Her voice trails off and she kneads her hands together. It had been so easy to just type it all out. But saying everything out loud stirred up her feelings even more.]

[miniworth]

I think he feels that way about you, too. [Without question, he'll reach for her hands--she'll get an eleven-year-old's sternest look if she isn't wearing any gloves--and tug on her hand.]

Come on, it's late. Even if you say you want to be alone, I'm not going to leave you outside in this cold.

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[Don't worry, she is. They're carnation pink with little clover buttons, even. She looks at him...and is once again reminded of Snake.]

I...know. But I'm all bundled up...it's really fine...

[But she doesn't pull away from him. Instead, she takes the hand that tugged on hers.]

[miniworth]

... It still gets chilly. [He grips her hand, not tightly as if expecting her to pull away, but just a pressure to say that he is here.]

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

It's December. What d'you expect?

[The sarcasm is completely lost. Or rather, it's a pitiful attempt at trying to sound sarcastic, as if nothing's wrong and she's just being her usual self.

LIES.

Clover bites her lip, and Miles may notice her eyes shining. Not shining with delight. Far from it. After so many conversations with people...running into them...she couldn't hide how she truly felt about not being with Snake any longer.]

[miniworth]

[He'll pull her, not too forcefully, until they reach home or somewhere that is open and warm at this time of night.]

I don't like seeing people cry during winter.

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[At first, Clover resists, but she finally follows him slowly, turning her head briefly away to wipe her tears.]

Do you prefer seeing them cry during summer, then?

[Her humor is halfhearted at best.]

[miniworth]

I don't know. I just don't like it. [There was himself. There was Ken. Then there was Fuu and now Clover.

Why did everybody cry during winter? He didn't like it at all.]

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[Because winter is a horrible, horrible season. Clover rubs another tear away from one blue eye with the back of her gloved hand.]

I...I don't like crying either, but it happens.

[She had kept everything inside for the longest time, putting on a smile for everyone, laughing, trying to brighten up Ken's and Miles' lives like a ray of sunshine. Of course, Snake was never far away from her mind.]

[miniworth]

We don't mind if you just let it happen, you know.

[He'll sit her down at the nearest chair--maybe a bench in the Pokémon Center's lobby, as that place is always open--and remain standing; it's easiest to talk this way.]

Ken and I aren't weak. We've cried, too. We've seen each other cry, sometimes.

You don't have to smile for us. It's not just your smile that we're friends with--it's all of you.

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[Clover sits...rather obediently.]

I wish I could've been there with you, when you cried, or when Ken cried. I know crying doesn't mean you're weak, but...

[Her shoulders begin shaking, and she knits her hands together again. Those blue eyes don't seem to run out of tears - and she pulls out a handkerchief from one of her pockets.]

I've never been far away...so far away from Light this long.

Yes, that's right. Snake was only his code name. Light is his real name.

[And then she buries her face into her hands, sobbing silently.]

[miniworth]

I know, Clover. I know.

[Of course, their situations had obvious differences. While Clover would still find her brother once she returned home, Miles would never meet the person he lost ever again.

But the sentiments were similar. It was still a loss. It was still loving that person and missing them, wishing they were close and wishing to see them once more. Just one more time. It was feeling lonely and lost, and not knowing what to do. He understood those.]

Cry. We don't mind. We can't replace him or bring him to you, but if you need to cry, we can be here for you. Ken and I weren't alone because we had each other; you don't have to be alone either.

[He climbs onto the bench next to her, now, hesitating for a fraction of a second before wrapping his arms around her shoulders. The act of comforting and sharing feelings is stil new to him, and it still fills him with uncertainty, but he's getting used to it. ... He can do this, he thinks.]

[4leafcleaver.livejournal.com]

[Clover finally looks up, her cheeks marked by the tracks of so many tears that were being cried at last. She grips her handkerchief tightly.]

I'm not asking either of you to replace him or anything like that. I know you and Ken are different...and you two will always be my friends, no matter what.

Still...even though I know crying isn't a sign of weakness, sometimes I just don't want to cry because I have to be your big sister, the one who looks out for you and Ken. And I end up feeling weak anyway...I feel like I'm back in the operating room with Junpei, telling him my brother could be dead and I could be next...

[Without further ado, Clover opens her arms and embraces him, holding him close to her the way she had hugged Snake when she first saw him rise from the coffin, alive and well and not dead.

She held him as if she would fall apart if she let go, and the tears didn't stop.]

Being alone is horrible.